...My Hair!
Bet that got your attention, didn't it?
Just messin' with you. Okay, so for the past several days, my hair has gotten a hardcore facelift. One might say a HAIRlift....teehee.
Okay, so first, I got it cut.
Then, I dyed part of it purple!
Yes, I promise that it's actually purple, not blue.
Then, the fun REALLY began!
And finally, the obligatory cat lady picture:
I love it so much! I finally got my hair to dye the colors I've always wanted!!
Used: Special Effects Atomic Pink and Punky Colors Violet.
Toddlers in heels/lipstick/makeup. Come on people, stop sexualizing your six year old. It's scary as hell, and kind of inappropriate. No anecdote for why, it just creeps me the hell out.
Birds. They scare the ever-loving bejesus out of me. Once, when I was very small, a goose bit me in the stomach, and then chased me. I've also been bitten by pigeons, chased and attacked by a swan, and chased by chickens. I don't enjoy birds.
People on the bus. Not that there is anything wrong with them as individuals, but I've had people on the bus say some pretty terrifying things to me. Like this one dude spend like five minutes telling me how beautiful I am, then asking if I can sing/model because he was a "modelling agent." Hah. I wanted to say, "Dude, I have a friend that is a model. Modelling agents DON'T hang out in dirty sneakers and ratty polo shirts at bus stops, and they DON'T speak Ebonics. Go find some other gullible white girl."
Hobos. Not because they are hobos, but because I have serious social anxiety and an inability to say no. The other day, this woman (hobo status unknown) came up to me with her crazy eye (which were legit crazy, not being rude) and asked me for two quarters. I don't carry cash so I told her no. Then ten minutes later she came back, asked AGAIN, and when I repeated myself she said, and I quote, "Every one is dead because of you, you fat ass son of a mumble mumble..." as she walked off. Ruined my day.
Except this guy. I would give this guy all my money. [Source]
Having kids. This is a biggie. Not because I don't like kids in particular, but for several other multi-faceted reasons. I'm terrified of what it will do to my body (stretch marks, even BIGGER boobs, etc) and the fact that I think I will be a terrible mom. Plus, women in my family tend to gain like 60-80 pounds (!!) during their pregnancy. 80 pounds for a 6 pound baby?? That's nuts. And I know for a FACT that my skin is not elastic, as I ALREADY have stretch marks from weight gain. Call me selfish, but I'm just not ready to devastate my body in order to bring a screaming poop machine that will turn into a screaming teenager into the world. I'm not sure when I will be, but definitely not before I turn thirty.
As covered by my last post, I am about the most neurotic person ever. Hence the title of this little series.
But yesterday, was especially hard for me.
Nick, Alex and I went out on the town, mostly searching for a place that would cut my hair for under $30.
We headed to the mall, grabbed some lunch, and I convinced the boys to let me scurry over to Forever 21, in hopes of finding a cute dress for swing dancing in on Wednesday.
I wound up not buying anything because of my Buyer's Guilt (which is an entirely different issue), but later that night went on to search for dresses online.
I looked through Dorothy Perkins, Modcloth, Shabby Apple, Asos, Romwe, all the super cute places that my enamored bloggers buy their adorable duds.
And guess what I found out.
Apparently, according to these websites, my measurements mean that I range anywhere from a 1X to a 2X. What the fuck is that??
I've never been bigger than a size 14, and am currently sitting at a relatively decent size 12 in the jeans department (depending on the jean).
But a XXL?? REALLY??
How about that for total ego annihilation? Dude, I think I'm pretty fat but jeez.
So, I cried my face off, naturally.
Not just because I literally can't wear what I would like to, but because it's not for a lack of trying.
I work out.
I eat as healthy as I can, considering I'm not a vegetarian and I can't afford to be (not that I would really want to, I love meat).
After talking to Holly and The Boy about it, I felt a little better.
When Holly comes down in 18 days (!), she and I are going to Forever 21 and I am GOING to find a dress, dammit.
And I promise that I will not cry.
Hypothetical Readers, do you have debilitating body images issues too, or are you right on with the body acceptance movement?
Rhya
Edit:
So right (literally RIGHT) after writing this blog, I farted around pinterest and found a new blog. And several pages in, I found this video.
I've been thinking a lot lately about what my early high school self would think of my current twenty-year old self.
Back then, I wore only black (because I thought I was goth and black is slimming) and was "allergic" to the color pink unless it was hot pink with black stripes.
Terrifying, isn't it? Not just the photo quality, that is.
Nowadays, I am totally smitten by color! I've been bitten by the color bug! Aquas, pastel pinks, yellows, all of it calls my name. Sure, I still wear a lot of black, because it's still slimming and because I can't afford to buy new clothes all willy-nilly, but I also have some color that has crept into my wardrobe.
OH GOD, TOO MUCH COLOR.
(PS, please never ask me to dress up for a rave. You will get this.)
That's better.
Anybody notice that I have on different glasses in every picture?
I sometimes wonder if my sixteen year old self would be proud of me or hate me. Sixteen year old me was stagnating in a small Southern town, in a very negative relationship, with no discernible plan for the future. I also despised blondes, bright colors and "preps."
Twenty year old me IS blonde (if only temporarily; pink here I come!), prefers bright or pastel colors and is semi-okay with preppy kids. I'm also a Junior in an amazing school, getting a degree in Art and living out on my own.
So, some changes are bittersweet, but all in all I'm finally becoming someone my sixteen year old self could have looked up to.
Hello, Hypothetical Readers.
As you are probably beginning to understand, most of my blog titles will be song lyrics, because for some reason I think that's creative.It probably isn't.
At any rate, this morning I was thinking about some people that I've known and loved in the past (I don't necessarily mean romantically), and the choices they have made and the lives they lead.
Now, I'm not here to judge anybody. Believe me, God did not step down from his almighty fluffy throne to hand me the Judge Stick. But I can be disappointed with a person without judging them, can't I?
If only because I know they can do better.
A friend of a friend used to say something that I'm just now starting to understand:
"People are in your life for reasons, seasons, and lifetimes."
As much as it breaks my heart, the seasons for some people have come to a close. Not because I don't love them anymore, but because it hurts my heart to see them not living out their potential, and I don't want to spend my life being sad.
Is that wrong, Hypothetical Readers?
In other news, I have new blog buttons! Courtesy of Her New Leaf's button freebies that I found via Pinterest.
Kira is super cute (she kind of looks like Holly!) and her design skills are amazing. Please go give her blog some lovin'.
Also, please continue to pop by South By City, the other blog I contribute to, for awesome funtime stuff!
Hello, world.
This is my umpteenth attempt at a blog. (A solo blog, that is).
I am also participating in a co-op blog over at South By City with the lovely Holly Ann, my bestie.
I have a previous Wordpress blog, but c'mon. Who uses that anymore?
At any rate, this blog is going to be wicked awesome. Some things like my Confessions from a Neurotic will copy over from South By City, but this is more of a place for me to think, muse, and express myself.
So if you like scatterbrained college artists spewing their crazy, this is the place for you!
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